I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
