oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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