3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
