Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
