But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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