Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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