sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
