Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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