god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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