Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
