i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
