You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
