I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
