I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
