Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
