Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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