That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
