I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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