Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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