i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
