Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
