oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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