About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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