well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
