I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
