how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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