I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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