you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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