So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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