i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
