She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
