On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
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What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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