Im at strip club and am horny
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
