I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
