Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
