Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
