Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
