I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
