sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
