I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
