kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
