i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
