It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
