am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
