You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
