Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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