After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
