Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
