My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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