we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
