It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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